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*P:S- I know its cliche already at this point but i just feel like getting in on the “letter to” series… forgive the typo’s, its 2:00am*

Dear Future Wife,

There’s this wierd feeling i have that somehow, someway, you are gonna get to read this before i get to see/know you. In leiu of that, i’ve thought it wise to send some deep subliminals in the form of this letter… I’m gonna write this as though i was talking to you directly, and as such it would most probably seem abstract to lotsa people, but i dont care, i know u perfectly understand everything i’m gonna say, so read on sweets, ur gonna like this…

If you are anything like i know ur gonna be, then its safe to say i know a lot about you. First you are tush. I mean you are posh. The kind of woman prince charles would’nt be ashamed to take home to mama charlie. You are as sophisticated as they come. However, there is a but… you are real… How do i mean? I mean you know there’s nothing razz about using your fingers to assault a mountain of pounded yam when in the comfort of your home or even at a close friends place, you love being yourself and u dont appologize for that, well you should’nt cuz ur beautiful like that.

Sumfin else bout u? You Love God, I dont even know where to begin on this one. You wake up in the morning and you’re just thinking of how transient life is and how everything in you screams the assurance of a here-after which cannot be terrestial but celestial. Like paul, you have come to the full assurance of your citizenship… its of heaven… you dont teach the law… touch not, taste not, do not… you teach grace… Jesus revealed. You understand the only two commandments we are asked by the Master to keep, Loving your God and Loving your neighbor as yourself, shikena. You understand worship as much more than a song and understand the efficacy of blasting in tongues. You cry when you worship… its sumfin i know… i know this strongly… you cry because when in HIS presence you understand the magnitude of HIS sacrifice and you like John scream, “Behold what manner of Love the Father hath bestowed upon us that we should be called the Sons of God”… You Understand that “Unto them whom the Word of God came it made them gods” You therefore decree things knowing they are established. You already prophesy into the lives of our 3 children (Yes i said three, i know you probably dont agree, i’ll get to that in a bit). I prophesy into their lives too. You Hear God, Kai! You are so led by the Spirit, i get the feeling He is gonna tell us personally one second before the trumpet sounds if it happens in our lifetime. Theres so much to write bout your spirituality but lets go on… we ll talk more bout that when we meet…

Bout your mannerisms, you do some wierd things. You have a favorite side of the bed. You have your preffered cutlery set and china. You never go out without your sunglasses, and you drive with one hand. But you ar’nt uptight, oh no you are not. I know you love football, but you arnt an arsenal fan. You arnt an arsenal fan cuz i once had a dream that arsenal beat your club and i taunted you bout it. Its probably man u, just a hunch… You love to let me have my fun with my FIFA games. You know its a “sin that is unto death” to interupt me wen i’m playing my games. You play with me sometimes though, you dont fancy it much but you r sweet like that… Yelz Ma’am!

You love comedies, thats your favorite genre of movies. You ll love to cuddle while we watch them, and then fall asleep on the couch till the next morning. Its our thing. You love to dance, i can picture you workin’ it in the living room while i just watch… then you signal me to come join you… i dont, because my minds somewhere far away… its wondering how on earth God decided to bless me with someone as awesome as you…True talk love, true talk.

Enough bout describing you, you already know yourself. Lets talk bout some things that might be “issues”. Obi’m (my heart) I absolutely detest the ministry of “wrapper and hairnet”! Sweets, na this kind thing dey cause divorce. In my house? God Forbid! Let your hair flow, afterall, i love to stroke it gently. Of course you know bumshorts are not a sin (IN THE HOUSE OH!) so i expect you to have a whole wardrobe filled with them. And they usually initiate the proccess described by louis as “the divine nature”. So plenty bumshorts please!

Now anyone reading this who is too self righteous for themselves can stop now. I’m about to talk about something God gave as a command to married people so if you are HOLY-ier than the HOLY ghost or more SPIRITual than the Holy SPIRIT then you can stop reading now…

*Clears throat*

Nwunye’m, D Bible explicitly says something. It says that there is something you should never decide to decline me whenever i ask for it… its “the divine nature”. I’m saying this because na we and God go settle the matter if you decide not to give me “MY ice-cream”. I’m going to ask for my “ice-cream” as often as i can! I’ve been a good boy most of all these years so dont think i wont enjoy it when its my time! I’ll ask for “ice-cream” in the kitchen, palor, bathroom, bedroom, and anywhere one can have “ice-cream”! Ehen, i don talk my own… “He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit is saying to the church…”

Babyboo, i can see you laughing already after that last paragraph… i’m laughing too. But that doesnt mean i’m not serious cuz i am.  Thats my kind of person. I like to describe myself as deep. “Deep things” was one of my nicknames back in skul. I love to think, just take out time to brood. Its my thing. I like the mystery behind silence. Sit on a couch and just stare into space… not idly, cuz my minds working like magic at that time. However, things like that will change when we get married cuz i’ll have you to talk to… i just know it.

Lets get a bit deep. You are gonna be my backbone. My fuel, my drive. Sometimes am gonna doubt if i can do somethings, you are gonna tell me i can. You r gonna push me into being all i can be for you and for the kids. You ll be my inspiration, my eternal inamorata. Just like a physical guardian angel. You ll go to God while i go to war… just like deborah and the israel army… the diffrence is when i win the war, i’ll know it was cause u pled my case before HIM. Thank you already.

I already love you… i dont know you, but i love you… i love you so so much. Nke’m you are my life. You take care of me, you stand there by me, through thick and thin, through trials. And i promise something… i’m gonna be there for you. I’m gonna protect you. I’m gonna provide for you. I’ll slave even if i have to, but you ll never lack any good thing… its scriptural. You ll never have cause to be silent when your friends talk about husbands made in heaven… cuz you will have one at home waiting to hold you close and never let you go. If i’m to love you like christ loved the church then your enemies r in trouble… cuz i know what Jesus did to the enemy… If only the devil knew… if only your enemies know…

I’m gonna get on one knee one day and ask you to marry me. (I wont describe it here so i dont spoil the suprise). But trust me cuppycakes, its gonna be beautiful. My mum cant wait to meet you already. She keeps asking me if i’ve started praying bout you… e don tey wey i start. She is a lovely person. I know all guys say that but even tho’ its a cliche, its true in this case. She ll be best friends with you. I can assure you of that. She doesnt care what tribe you are from, i dont care either, Igbo, yoruba, hausa, benin, ghanian or even akata, all join. Chemi will make you laugh, elile will follow you and do “gbogbo bigz ghes”, ada n ugo will welcome you with open arms, the two mummy megs’ will add you to thier list of daughters. It will be beautiful.

Nne, i sometimes just sit up late and talk to God bout you, not asking him who you are, just praying for you. Cant wait to put that ring on your finger, and love you forever and ever, and shower you with my love, You are my everything and i’ll love you for the rest of my life.

I’ve got to go now. Early office day tommorrow. (make i hammer so the honeymoon for barbados go sweet). I know my life will change forever once i know you. I’m gonna take care of your heart, cuz u are my heart… Obi’m, you are my heart. I’m blowing you kisses right now… i know you wil get them .you might be alseep, awake, eating, reading but you will feel something , ever so soft on your cheeks. Thats my kiss to you, delivered by God’s Spirit. I’m waiting for you love, i’m waiting…

Take care of yourself for me hun, you’re special to me.

love you very plenty…

Yours eternally
Nke’ gi



P:S- Before i forget, the children! Yes they will be 3! I just feel you will want another number… I doubt i can compromise this one oh… so get ready… two boys and my princess… #endofstory!