The thing about potiphars house is the fact that its very unstable… it’s the kinda place where you put your everything into something but you don’t get back what’s duely yours. Potiphars house has a way of drowning every belief you had in your dream. Every belief getting out of the pit gave you…
You see, being in the pit taught you to trust. Trusting is something you have to learn, else you’d cavitate. And cavitation is bad. Very bad. I’m learning that right now. If only you know all the puns in that cavitation phrase… I digress.
Let’s put it this way. You got the dream. Naive. You got thrown in the pit. Surrender. Now you’re in potiphars house. Everything you do here will be done with the knowledge that this is a part of your journey to the palace. You’ve learnt to trust. So you’re generally not moved anymore. And you sorta knew this was coming. But the suprising thing is you never guessed the events of the house of monseiur Potiphar would make you this tired. I mean, even though you know potiphars house is temporary, it sucks knowing you have to put your all into your work there to justify Him. You see, it’s part of the plan. He just is too big to share any of the glory with you. So you have to put in everything, and watch your “everything” be not good enough. That’s the most fucked up thing ever. Putting everything in knowing it won’t be good enough. Here’s where it’s fucked up. You put in everything but somehow (I even suspect He has something to do with it), it doesn’t work out. I think He does that to show you that it’s not about you. You may prepare the horse for battle all night long but only He can ensure it comes back alive. Look, it cannot be ordinary. I mean, you’re smart. Even potiphar says so. He says your problem isn’t with your work, or attitude. Haha. This is funny. Well, Not really. And soon, you might be out of potiphars house.
Like I said, I trust Him too much to be worried. So my issues are not about what is happening. My issues are more about the “punishment” that is supposed to be the lesson I learn here, in potiphars house… the lesson that after doing all I can by my power, it still cannot take me, where He wants to take me…
Disheartening…
Gutting…
Exhausting…
I’m supposed to keep on keeping on. All the while knowing it won’t work.
Haha.
He has a nasty sense of humor…
A nasty one…

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