contentment

Phillip Phillips- Gone Gone Gone.

When I heard Phillip Phillips had a church background I was not surprised. Quite happy actually. The lyrics to his hit track “home” spoke volumes alluding to that. But that’s not the track that’s inspiring this post.

I wish I could post the lyrics to this song so you see why it moves me so much. It moves me because like him, I’m a church boy. Like him, I am quite old school in my beliefs. Not saying I don’t do things I consider wrong, but I don’t deny or cover up the fact that I consider them wrong. Knowing your problem is the first step and what not…

I’m quite old school when it comes to relationships. Like real relationships. Not… “arrangements”. That’s why sometimes I remember chatting with London, and her telling me I’m damaged, and me laughing till my ribs hurt. I laughed because it was funny seeing as the pot was calling the kettle black, but she was right. She also said I was stuck on my ex. I had to think properly about it to decide she was wrong on that count. Because London knows me so well I was scared she was right. But I later realized she was wrong. What I missed (still do) about Nefertiti was how I felt about her, not necessarily her herself. I miss being insane about someone. Worst part? I Think that part of me is done with. Dead. There have been countless females after her. That feeling still eludes me. I came close once… close, but everything died before I could be sure. I really don’t think I’m capable of feeling like that again.

That’s why I’ve been listening to this song for the past 5 hours. Every word in this song is what I’d want to tell Asenath. The song is a promise. It’s a declaration. A plea. A woo. A dance. This song is how I’m supposed to feel for Asenath. I know she’s still a while away but I’m getting ready… by doing cheesy shit like this. Prepping this stone heart by boiling it in the hot water of the lyrics of a church boys’ love song.

They say you can’t soften a stone by boiling it…

We’ll see…
Oh by the way, here’s a link to the song…enjoy.

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