I grew up poor.

My mother did such a great job that I didn’t know we were poor at the time, but yeah with age, I realized it. We were poor.

Dad would occasionally get a head snap and act as he should, next thing we’d be going to London in the summer. But when you travel abroad and come back home to a life where food to eat was actually a daily question then it hits you. Elite commoners. It hit me much much later in life. Not initially.

That’s why people say I’m arrogant. Knowing who I was, I have an innate hatred for anyone who I consider to be snide towards people of lesser… Anything than them. You could be my Siamese twin, I really don’t care, the second I feel you look down on me, or think you’re better than me, it’s all over. My ability to interact with you dies a natural death.

The memories of primary school come back. Having to eat beans and Garri every afternoon for about 2 years straight. Having to be excluded from class excursions because those were a luxury and the necessity at that time was completing the money for our school fees.

I don’t do sob stories. This isn’t one. I’m currently in a better place than all that. Recent events especially with people I considered family showed me to remember that I’m the only person looking out for myself. It’s just me. Sometimes I need to remember that.

I’m a humble kid from Canaan. I’m here temporarily in prison, here I meet people of different kinds. People of means, people who don’t know it’s possible to go through what I’ve gone through. I’ve also met people with worse struggles. In all I’ve learned something. My struggle isn’t greater than thiers. Neither is theirs greater than mine. Two different psyches to handle different struggles with different intensities. I’m on my way to the palace. I’ll get there. They’ll get to their palace too. We don’t have to interact to get there. They’ll be great. I’ll be great. And we’ll all be fine.

It’d be great to have company along for this ride, but when you’re not sure if “company” has your back or not… Yeah.

Riding solo.

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